"Doctor Please" is a Sesame Street song from the 1999 resource video, Sesame Street Goes to the Doctor (later released in 2005 as Elmo Visits the Doctor).
The song is performed by a chorus of patients (including Elmo, Ernie, Bert, The Count, Baby Bear, an elephant, some Anything Muppets and other animals), who complain about their medical issues and wish that the nurse, Susan, will call them in for their check-up.
Muppet Boy: I've got a runny nose.
Muppet Woman: He's got boo boos on his toes.
Ernie: And every time he takes a breath, he sneezes.
Chicken: I slipped and hurt my claw.
Lion: I tripped and hurt my paw.
Muppet Boy, Muppet Woman, Ernie, Bert, Chicken, and Lion: Doctor, hurry up and see us, please.
Elephant: My trunk is all stuffed up.
Goat: This morning I threw up.
Count: I just coughed for a hundred times today.
Deer: My antler's really sore. I can't take it anymore.
Goat's Owner, Goat, Deer, Elephant, Other Muppet, and Count: Doc, you've gotta see us right away.
Count: (coughs) That's 101 coughs!
Horse: I've got one upset tummy and my hoof is feeling crummy.
Ernie: And this throbbing in his forehead's getting stronger.
Elmo: Got an ache in Elmo's ear. And that's why Elmo's here.
Horse, Ernie, and Bert: Doctor, please, we can't wait any longer.
Baby Bear: I've got a scratchy throat.
Farmer: And this fever's got my goat.
Cow: And a hornache's made me one unhappy cow.
Elephant: I feel outta sorts and drowsy.
Baby Bear, Cow, and Elephant: We're sick and feeling lousy.
Baby Bear, Cow, Elephant, and Farmer: Doctor, please, we gotta see you now.
Cow and Elephant: Doctor please, we wanna get well now.
Horse, Deer, Count, Goat, and Muppet Boy: Doctor, please, we wanna get well now.
- This song was mentioned in Putting Songs I Don't Like Through Google Translate.
- This song was part of an episode entitled Elmo Visits the Doctor. Elmo had earache and Bert and Baby Bear had colds. These three characters were all cured by the end of the episode but it was never revealed whether the others got better or what they had. However, they'd probably be OK.
- This song is mostly in rhymes, but at one point, "up" is rhymed with itself and at another time, "sneezes" is rhymed with "please".
- It is unknown why the goat (who, despite being able to speak, seems to be a Muppet's pet), is at a regular doctor and not a vet.
- The deer Muppet is recycled from Lightning from Elmo Saves Christmas.