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"Watermelons and Cheese" is a Sesame Street song performed by Monty. The song explains how you should properly answer the telephone. You say "Hello" and not "Watermelons and cheese!"... unless you're a watermelon, or a cheese.

Features cameos by Bert, Cookie Monster, and The Count, with back-up vocals by the Anything Muppets (.i.e. nameless Muppet characters).
Sesame Street - "Watermelons and Cheese"

Sesame Street - "Watermelons and Cheese"

Lyrics Edit

Man: Answering the telephone is not so hard to do.

Once you know the secret which I shall show to you.

What you say, that's the key!

And it's easy as it can be!

You can say...

Bert: Hello. No, this isn't Ernie's ducky.

Man: Or perhaps.

Cookie Monster: Hello. You got cookie for me, please?

Man: Or.

The Count: Hello. You are caller number one.

Man: But don't say, "Watermelons and cheese".

Background Singers: No, you don't say.

Man: Watermelons and.

Background Singers: You don't say.

Man: Watermelons and.

Background Singers: You never say.

Man: Watermelons and cheese!

Background Singers: Please try again.

Man: This shall be a breeze. Watermelons and cheese! Oh, sorry.

Background Singers: You can say.

Bert: Hello. Bernice, it's for you.

Background Singers: Or perhaps.

Cookie Monster: Hi. Me get off now. Me eating cookies.

Background Singers: Or.

The Count: Hello. You are caller number two. Ha ha ha.

Background Singers: You can do it!

Man: Watermelons and cheese!

Background Singers: No, you don't say.

Man: Watermelons and.

Background Singers: You don't say.

Man: Watermelons and.

Background Singers: You never say.

Man: Watermelons and cheese.

Background Singers: Please try again.

Man: This shall be a breeze. Watermelons and cheese!

Background Singers: No!

Man: Jolly good. Not a problem. I think I've got it now! You don't say. You never, never say.

Watermelon: Watermelons and cheese!

Man: Unless you're a watermelon.

Watermelon: It's for you.

Man: Or a cheese.

Cheese: Oh, good on you to call.

Cast Edit

  • Marty Robinson as Monty
  • Frank Oz as Bert, Cookie
  • Jerry Nelson as The Count
  • Jim Martin as the Watermelon
  • Noel MacNeal as the Cheese

It's unknown who performed the backup-singing Anything Muppets.